Advance Wars Interviews
by Count Ceretto
Summary: Have you always wanted to know more about your favorite Advance Wars characters? Well here's your chance on Advance Wars Interviews! Chapter 8 is up! And so ends the Blue Moon season. R&R Please!
1. Andy

Me: Well what do you know? I'm doing a humor fic!  
  
Phoenix: Bet it's going to suck.  
  
Me: Quiet. Anyway, this will be my first humor fic so don't expect it to rock.  
  
Phoenix: I expect it to suck.  
  
Me: Shut up. Anyway, HOPE YOU LIKE IT!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or the characters. Wish I did though.  
  
Advance Wars Interviews  
  
Chapter 1: Andy  
  
{We see a stage with two orange couches, a table in between, and windows overlooking the Orange Star Capital.}  
  
Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Welcome to, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Clapping and cheering in the background}  
  
Announcer: Now put your hands together for your favorite author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!  
  
{Clapping and cheers. I walk onto the stage in a tacky orange tuxedo}  
  
Me: HELLO EVERYONE!  
  
{Silence}  
  
Me: What? What's wrong?  
  
{I see them all looking at my suit.}  
  
Me: Oh this? It was a discount from Colin. Well anyway, I'm Master of the Phoenix and I will be interviewing Advance Wars characters!  
  
{Clapping}  
  
Me: Now let's see, oh yes! Our first character is that famous mechanic we all know and love...  
  
Random Audience Member: ANDY SUCKS!  
  
Me: Um, yeah. ANYWAY! Put your hands together for ANDY!  
  
{Clapping, a few cheers. Andy comes out waving his hands and acting like he won the Nobel Prize}  
  
Andy: HI! I am very happy to be here today. I would like to thank Sami who drove me here tonight!  
  
{Everyone looks on confused as Andy talks, giving random speeches. I have an embarrassed look on my face as I gently pick the talker up and put him on a couch.}  
  
Me: Ok Andy, STOP TALKING!  
  
{He abruptly stops with a confused look on his face}  
  
Me: Right. Now Andy, can I ask you a few questions?  
  
Andy: Ok, but do I get to use a lifeline?  
  
{I'm confused, but then I realize what he's talking about.}  
  
Me: No Andy, you don't get to use lifelines because this isn't a game show. This is an interview. Now, how old are you?  
  
Andy: I'm eighteen!  
  
{Audience gasps. I'm a little shocked myself}  
  
Me: Wow, you seem way too energetic for an eighteen year old.  
  
Andy: That's because I have Sami's super secret chocolate stash and I always eat ten bars in the morning.  
  
{Audience is a little surprised. Sami is furious and starts stomping toward the stage.}  
  
Sami: ANDY! I'LL KILL YOU!  
  
{Andy waves at her like nothing's going on.}  
  
Andy: Hi Sami!  
  
{I am a little nervous that Sami will kill Andy. I yell out}  
  
Me: SECURITY!  
  
{Two buffed up guards run in}  
  
Guards: Hut hut hut hut hut hut!  
  
{{They pick up Sami by her arms and carry her away}  
  
Guards: Hut hut hut hut hut hut!  
  
Sami: HEY! Where're you taking me? I still have to kill Andy! HELP!  
  
{Again, Andy doesn't seem too fazed by this scene.}  
  
Andy: BYE SAMI! See you when I get back to the HQ!  
  
Me: Right. Now um, why do you think Eagle hated you so much when Blue Moon was attacking Orange Star?  
  
Andy: I think it had something to do with Sami and I. Maybe I was competition for him?  
  
{Eagle is outraged.}  
  
Eagle: HEY! You little twerp! That's not the reason! I thought you were attacking Green Earth! And there is nothing between Sami and I! We're just friends!  
  
{Audience looks to Andy.}  
  
Andy: Well, if you were such FRIENDS why were you and Sami giving each other strange looks and you were giving me jealous looks?  
  
Audience: OOOOOH!  
  
{Eagle is sweating and is looking a little embarrassed}  
  
Eagle: That's not, true, that's, a lie.  
  
{Eagle sinks down into his seat as red as a tomato.}  
  
{I'm looking awed all this time. I turn to the cameraman.}  
  
Me: Are we recording this?  
  
{Cameraman gives thumbs-up.}  
  
Me: EXCELLENT! Um, I mean, LAST QUESTION! Now Andy, is there anything going on between you and Sonja?  
  
Andy: Well, tomorrow night we'll do something special!  
  
Audience: OOOOH!  
  
{Sonja is blushing considerably}  
  
Me: Really? Care to share this "special night" with us?  
  
{Audience is on the edge of their seats.}  
  
Andy: Well, tomorrow night we will play chess! Isn't it amazing? I've never played chess before!  
  
{Audience looks really disappointed. What? What did you THINK Andy and Sonja were going to do? Perverts.}  
  
Me: Oh, I see. OH LOOK! We're all out of time! Thanks for being here Andy!  
  
Andy: It's been a lot of fun!  
  
{Audience hesitantly claps. Andy walks off the stage to where Sonja was waiting.}  
  
Sonja: I thought we were going to do something else!  
  
Andy: What else could we do? Play computer games? Watch TV?  
  
Sonja: Not exactly.  
  
{They walk away still talking.}  
  
Me: Well, thanks for watching Advance Wars Interviews! I'm your host, Master of the Phoenix saying, SO LONG FOLKS!  
  
{I walk off and audience is clapping. The screen fades out.}  
  
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)  
  
Me: So how was that?  
  
Phoenix: Meh, it was ok.  
  
Me: Hey, do I see a smile on your face?  
  
Phoenix: Well, um, OF COURSE YOU DO! I'm waiting for the reviews to come in and I know they will say this story sucked! That's why I'm smiling.  
  
Me: Sure, whatever you say. Be nice in your reviews please. This is my first attempt at a humor fic. It's also a replacement for the Writer's Block cursed story, "The Legend of Zelda: Pirates and Men." I will try to update that story soon. But until then, you get to read this story.  
  
Phoenix: Which sucks like (Gets punched) OW!  
  
Me: Shut up please. Oh and REVIEW PLEASE!  
  
Phoenix: Owie, I think some of my teeth were knocked out. 


	2. Max

Me: Wow! People actually LIKED this story. EXCELLENT!  
  
Phoenix: DAMN IT! I was hoping they'd want you to never write again.  
  
Me: Well you're wrong, now review reviews please.  
  
Phoenix: Why?  
  
Me: Because I've got a sword.  
  
Phoenix: I hate you.  
  
DW–881: YAY! I'm on favorites! Glad you like the story so much.  
  
Dash142: I'm doing Max in this chapter, but I'll do Sami next chapter. By the way, I asked her and she said she thinks you're pretty cute and she's sorry but she's with Eagle. LOL!  
  
KrOnIk–SpOon: Thanks for your review! I'll do my best.  
  
Kat: Thanks for your compliments!  
  
Naval Ace: Thanks. And look at it this way. You tried, and at least you can write good serious fics. Update your story soon!  
  
Me: All right! Let's start the story!  
  
Phoenix: Whoopee. (Can you just FEEL the sarcasm?)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or it's characters. If I did, I'd make my country and it's be named White Galaxy.  
  
Chapter 2: Max  
  
{We see a stage with two orange couches, a table in between, and windows overlooking the Orange Star Capital.}  
  
Announcer: Ladies and gentleman! Welcome to the new hit, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Lots of clapping and cheering}  
  
Announcer: Now, please put your hands together for that author you know and love, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!  
  
{I step out in my stupid orange suit. Clapping, though they are still goggling at my horrible suit.}  
  
Me: Hello and welcome to the show! I'm Master of the Phoenix, and I will be interviewing Advance Wars characters. AND YES I'M STILL WEARING THE STUPID SUIT!  
  
{Audience is a little surprised but then they try not to make eye contact with the suit.}  
  
Me: Right, now put your hands together for the king of combat, the bodybuilder of bodies,  
  
Grit: We know its ole Maxie just get on with it before I cap you!  
  
{Grit and some of his fans are standing up and not looking happy that Max is here.}  
  
Me: Um, put your hands together for MAX!  
  
{Clapping, a few boos from Grit lovers. Max comes onto the stage showing off his steroid pumped muscles.}  
  
Max: Hey everyone! Check out these muscles! I lift weights every day from 7:00 P.M. to 9:00 P.M. so if you want to be like me do what I do.  
  
{Max fan boys are taking notes and some girls are ogling him. Grit lovers are readying their Grit-like revolvers. I'm getting nervous and try to convince the big guy to sit down.}  
  
Me: Max, this isn't an advertisement. This is an interview. Now please sit down!  
  
Max: All right little man! You don't need to yell.  
  
{I'm fuming at being called little man but I compose myself and start the interview.}  
  
Me: Right, now first question. Why did you want to be a bodybuilder in the first place?  
  
Max: Well, when I was younger I tried to talk to girls, but they always ignored me and went for the strong men. I made a vow to be stronger than them and I succeeded. Girls flock to me, and my dream is complete.  
  
{Max lovers are clapping and crying. Grit lovers are mocking Max and the rest are clapping politely.}  
  
Me: Thank you for that story Max. Now second question, why do you think Flak is so much like you?  
  
Max: Well, he had the same idea as I did! He just didn't study like I did.  
  
{Flak lovers, (wait, ARE there Flak lovers?) are a little ticked off at Max's statement, Max lovers are laughing, and Grit lovers aren't even responding.}  
  
Me: Well that is a reason. Last question, what is going on in the love triangle between you, Nell, and Grit?  
  
Max: That has been a problem for a while, but I think Nell is going to choose me over lousy Grit. I mean come on! He betrayed his country and went to fight for Blue Moon! Who would want to love a traitor?  
  
{Grit and his lovers are furious. Grit stands up with his revolver raised.}  
  
Grit: All right Maxie! You're going down!  
  
BANG!  
  
{Grit shoots at Max. Max hides behind his couch. Max lovers charge over to the Grit lovers and a fight commences. Security and I are trying to calm everyone down but failing.}  
  
BANG! CRASH! CLATTER! CRASH! BANG!  
  
Me: PLEASE EVERYONE CALM DOWN! NO MAX! NOT THE COUCH!  
  
WHAM!  
  
{Max lifts up the couch he was hiding behind. He throws it at Grit but Grit dodges. The couch hits the wall and is ruined. I am horrified. Everyone has frozen. The guards are ushering everyone out.}  
  
Me: My couch. That cost 3,000 gold. And my stage, all ruined. Grr, MAAAXX!  
  
{Max is now getting a little nervous. I turn to Grit and stomp toward him.}  
  
Me: Grit, kindly give me your revolver. I want to shoot Max.  
  
{Grit is delighted at the idea}  
  
Grit: Go right ahead son.  
  
Me: Thank you Grit.  
  
{I point the revolver at Max. He tries to reason with me.}  
  
Max: Um, sorry little man. I, I think I can fix all of this. Please don't shoot. AAAHHH!  
  
BANG!  
  
{He runs away as I fire at him. I follow shooting.}  
  
Me: DAMN YOU MAX! GET BACK HERE AND TAKE THESE SHOTS LIKE A MAN!  
  
BANG! BANG! BANG!  
  
{Grit chuckles and walks out. The announcer's voice comes in.}  
  
Announcer: Wow, this is going to raise the ratings. Um, I mean. That's all the time we have left! This is Advance Wars Interviews and, hey! Don't come in here Max! SIR! DON'T SHOOT ME!  
  
BANG!  
  
Announcer: OW! YOU SHOT ME IN THE LEG!  
  
Me: GET BACK HERE MAX!  
  
{I chase Max out the door still shooting. Screen fades out.}  
  
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)  
  
Phoenix: COOL! THAT WAS SO VIOLENT! And funny at the same time!  
  
Me: Yes well, I'm in a violent mood today. And I still have Grit's gun.  
  
Phoenix: Hey, don't point that thing at me! STOP!  
  
BANG!  
  
Phoenix: OW! YOU SHOT ME IN THE ARM!  
  
Me: You deserved it. Anyway, hope this wasn't too violent and still funny. REVIEW PLEASE!  
  
Phoenix: SOMEONE HELP ME! I'M BLEEDING ALL OVER THE PLACE! 


	3. Sami

Me: COOL! People liked the violence last chapter!  
  
Phoenix: I can't believe you shot me!  
  
Me: You were annoying. Now review reviews please.  
  
Phoenix: Fine.  
  
Dash142: Eagle: RUN AWAY! (Uses Lightning Strike and runs far, far away from you.) Me: YO! Don't kill the characters! You need them to play Advance Wars! Oh, and Grit and Sonja are just allies. Andy and Sonja, however, like each other.  
  
Naval Ace: COOL! I'm on another favorites list! And to be honest with you, I've never watched the Jerry Springer show, so I can't compare your comments with my story. But thanks for them anyway! UPDATE YOUR STORY SOON!  
  
KrOnIk–SpOoN: Thanks for the suggestion! I may use it when I start interviewing Green Earth.  
  
Me: Ok! Time to interview Sami!  
  
Phoenix: You mean the hot infantry girl?  
  
Me: Yes, the same one. (Notices glint in Phoenix's eyes.) DOWN BOY! BAD THOUGHTS!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or dash142, who will make an appearance in this fic.  
  
Chapter 3: Sami  
  
{Scene opens up to a stage overlooking the Orange Star capital, with two ratty couches and a badly smudged coffee table.}  
  
Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! Welcome to our violent show, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Hesitant clapping, since the audience is looking at the atrocious furniture.}  
  
Announcer: Now put your knives, I mean hands together for that trigger- happy author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!  
  
{Clapping, a few cheers from faithful reviewers. I walk out very disgruntled.}  
  
Me: HEY! You want to start something with me? I have Grit's gun!  
  
Announcer: HAH! You can't shoot the broad side of a  
  
BANG!  
  
Announcer: ACK! MY SPLEEN!  
  
Me: I warned you. Anyway, welcome to our show, Advance Wars Interviews. I'm your host, and yes, the furniture is all discounts from Colin.  
  
{Audience finally understands and stops glancing at the furniture.}  
  
Me: I really need to start buying from Hachi. Anyway, put your hands together for that hot infantry-specialist, chocolate loving girl,  
  
{From behind curtain.}  
  
???: CHOCOLATE! Where is it? Must have chocolate!  
  
Me: No Sami! No chocolate! Anyway, put your hands together for SAMI!  
  
{Lots of clapping, and lots of wolf-whistles from the guys. Sami comes out with gun raised and a mad glint in her eye}  
  
Sami: NOBODY MOVE! Give me all your chocolate and no one gets shot!  
  
{Everybody freezes. I try to calm Sami down.}  
  
Me: Sami! Calm down. LOOK! CHOCOLATE!  
  
{Sami drops her gun. I hastily toss it to the guards.}  
  
Sami: CHOCOLATE! Where?  
  
{I drop a few bars on the couch.}  
  
Me: On the couch Sami!  
  
{She notices them and dives onto the couch snarfing them down. The audience looks on in disgust.}  
  
Me: Now Sami, can we get on with the interview?  
  
{She finishes chocolate.}  
  
Sami: Of course! Fire away.  
  
Me: Ok, first, why do you like chocolate so much?  
  
Sami: Besides the fact that it tastes good and is good for you?  
  
Me: Yeah, tell me how this got started.  
  
Sami: Well, when I was really young, I ate only chocolate and milk. I think my mom gave it to me one day, and I just couldn't stop loving that sweet.  
  
Audience: OH!  
  
Me: AH! So THAT'S how it started! Recording right?  
  
{Cameraman gives thumbs up.}  
  
Me: Good. Now Sami, why did you join the army?  
  
Sami: Well, one day my dad noticed me doing a typical hunt for chocolate and he thought that if I employed that kind of strategy into the army, I could rise up the ranks and be able to protect Orange Star!  
  
Me: So that's why! Ok, now final question, what is going on between Eagle and you?  
  
Sami: Well, we are planning to go on a date tomorrow night to see the Orange Star Falls! Isn't it romantic?  
  
{I'm about to reply when a random audience member in seat 142, A.K.A. dash142, stands up.}  
  
Dash142: SAMI! DON'T GO WITH EAGLE! HE PLANS TO RAPE THEN MURDER YOU AT THE FALLS! Be with me! And together, we will be happy!  
  
{Everyone is frozen and their eyes are bulging because of that statement, Sami's especially. Guard comes from behind with gun raised. Dash142 notices this however.}  
  
Dash142: DIE MORTAL SCUM!  
  
{Dash142 takes out his sword and slashes at the guard. He misses but instead hits Sami's gun and cleaves it in two. The two pieces fall at Sami's feet.  
  
Sami: My gun. That was my first and most treasured AK-47.  
  
{Dash142 now knows he's in a heap of trouble.}  
  
Dash142: Um, I, I can fix that. I hope.  
  
Sami: DIIEE!  
  
{Sami pounces on dash142 and starts beating the living snot out of the poor fool.}  
  
BAM! WHAM! PUNCH! KICK!  
  
Dash142: AH! MY KIDNEY! HAVE MERCY RED-HAIRED GODDESS! OW!  
  
Me: TURN OFF THAT CAMERA!  
  
{Screen now shows a white background with black words that say, "Please stand by."}  
  
Really Nerdy Sounding Voice: Um, hello? Yes, well, I'm in the maintenance department, and I was called here because the announcer was in the hospital because of a spleen problem. So, I guess it's my duty to say, um, we are experiencing some technical difficulties. And I was wondering if you could, you know, please stand by! Heh, I always wanted to say that. Please stand by, thank you.  
  
{Screen comes back to the stage, were dash142 is being hauled away into an ambulance and Sami is snarfing down some chocolate. I'm nowhere to be seen.}  
  
Really Nerdy Sounding Voice: Um, hello again. Um, the announcer guy still isn't here so, I guess I'll finish this up. Um, dash142 is in critical condition now, Sami is eating chocolate, and Master of the Phoenix is crying in his dressing room. Glad we are, heh, recording that. Anyway, um, thank you for watching Advance Wars Interviews! Heh, I could make a career out of this. Thank you.  
  
{Screen fades out.}  
  
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)  
  
Phoenix: HAH HAH HAH! THAT WAS SO FUNNY! Especially when dash142 got the snot beat out of him.  
  
Me: Hoped you liked that dash142. And to the others,  
  
Both: REVIEW PLEASE! 


	4. Nell

Me: Cool! People still like the violence.  
  
Phoenix: Well, humans are violent people.  
  
Me: And just what are you then?  
  
Phoenix: I'm an elf who has been spending too much time with a human.  
  
Me: True, now review reviews.  
  
Phoenix: Whatever.  
  
Dash142: I'm sorry, but it is your fault that you got beaten up by Sami. I'll donate some money to you. (Which is approximately $142.03)  
  
Naval Ace: So that was YOUR AK-47! I thought it looked Russian! LOL! And sure! I'll put you in Drake's interview! (Though try and remind me when I get to Green Earth. I have a bad memory for non-important stuff.)  
  
KrOnIk-SpOoN: Actually, I'll do Blue Moon AFTER Nell and Hachi. I need to do all characters anyway. Thanks for the suggestions and WHAT?! Grit's getting ANOTHER GUN?! Well, I'll just go to a Wall-Mart myself and get TWO 12 Gauge guns. I'll give Grit's gun to you, when I finish with it.  
  
Me: Well, time to interview Nell!  
  
Phoenix: Oh joy, Miss Lucky.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or it's characters.  
  
Chapter 4: Nell  
  
{We see a stage overlooking the Orange Star capital with two ratty orange couches and a smudged coffee table.}  
  
Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Welcome to that high-rated show we know and hate, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Clapping and cheering.}  
  
Announcer: Now put your hands together and guns at ready for that author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!  
  
{Clapping. Loud cheering coming from three fans. I walk out with Grit's gun raised.}  
  
Me: Don't make me shoot you man!  
  
Announcer: You wouldn't dare! I'm the only announcer you can get!  
  
BANG!  
  
{I fire and almost hit the loudmouth's head}  
  
Me: I still have the maintenance department guy!  
  
Announcer: On second thought, I think you're a great author!  
  
Me: That's better. Anyway, HELLO! And welcome to the Advance Wars Interviews! Now put your hands together for that lucky girl, the commander in chief of Orange Star,  
  
Max: YEAH! NELL BABY COME TO ME!  
  
Grit: HEY! Don't think she's just going to walk out and choose you!  
  
Me: SHUT UP!  
  
{I raise the gun and start theatning.}  
  
Me: I am NOT going to put up with your stupid fighting! Now SIT DOWN!  
  
Grit: Son, you couldn't shoot me even if I was standing still.  
  
BANG!  
  
{I shoot the cigarette out of Grit's mouth.}  
  
Me: No smoking.  
  
{While eyeing me, Max and Grit quietly sit down.}  
  
Me: Anyway, put your hands together for NELL!  
  
{She walks out looking oh so perfect and lucky. Max and Grit are cheering like their lives depended on it.}  
  
Nell: Hello everyone! Want to sign up for Orange Star? If you do, I will guide your way to victory.  
  
{Of course, almost every guy in the room stands up. I am getting frustrated.}  
  
Me: Nell?  
  
Nell: Yes?  
  
Me: Kindly advertise IN ANOTHER SUDIO! NOW SIT DOWN!  
  
{Nell is almost scared to death and immediately sits down. I take deep breaths and then sit down.}  
  
Me: Now, first question. How did you become commander in chief of Orange Star?  
  
Nell: I was born under a lucky star, and my luck seemed to spread among the troops, winning me many battles and rising up the ranks. Also, Hachi was making interesting deals and that also helped me.  
  
{Being the stupid, curious fool I am, I ask.}  
  
Me: What sort of interesting deals?  
  
Nell: Well, I don't know how to put this but uh,  
  
{I suddenly realize what KIND of deals she and Hachi made. Yes, I am a slight pervert, but who isn't?!}  
  
Me: THANK YOU NELL! That was PLENTY of information!  
  
{Audience doesn't understand, but then again, only fools would WANT to watch this show.}  
  
Me: Second question, why are you always cheerful?  
  
Nell: Well, I was born under a lucky star of course!  
  
Me: FORGET THE STUPID STAR! What ELSE makes you cheerful?  
  
Nell: Well, lucky and successful cadets!  
  
{I slap my forehead in frustration, knowing this question is pointless.}  
  
Me: Ok, thank you Nell. Now final question, who do you think you're going to choose to be your, ahem, mate?  
  
{Max and Grit look on eagerly.}  
  
Nell: Um, well, this is so hard.  
  
Max: COME ON NELL! PICK ME!  
  
Grit: FORGET OLE MAXIE PICK ME!  
  
{Without even looking at them I raise my gun and shoot the ceiling, making them sit down quietly.}  
  
Me: Continue Nell.  
  
Nell: Well, to be honest, I always thought Hawke looked kind of sexy, so I'm going with him!  
  
Audience: HUH?!  
  
Grit and Max: HUH?!  
  
Me: HUH?!  
  
Hawke: What?  
  
{Everyone is so surprised. Grit and Max slowly turn towards Hawke, Hawke gives them an "I dare you to cross the line" look. Then Grit and Max pounce upon Hawke and try to pummel him. Hawke fans come to the rescue and start pummeling Max and Grit. Grit and Max lovers join in the battle and chaos reigns.}  
  
BAM! BAM! WHACK! SMACK! POKE! PUNCH! KICK!  
  
Me; EVERYBODY STOP!  
  
BANG! BANG! BANG!  
  
{I shoot the ceiling but nobody responds. By now, the ceiling is a little damaged. I look up to see the damage I've done and notice the whole ceiling is cracking.}  
  
Me: Oh no.  
  
{Somehow, everybody hears that and look up, and notice the ceiling is about to crash on their heads.}  
  
Everyone: AHHHH!  
  
{Everyone runs away, the ceiling comes crashing down and the stage is ruined. Only Nell is standing in the middle of the stage, and she is untouched.}  
  
Nell: I love being lucky!  
  
{Then a random piece comes crashing down on her head and she is knocked unconscious.}  
  
Announcer: COUGH! COUGH! Um, this is cough! Advance Wars Interviews saying cough! Goodbye.  
  
{Announcer faints from lack of air in his lungs. Screen fades out.}  
  
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)  
  
Me: Well, I just destroyed the stage.  
  
Phoenix: HAH! YOU SUCK! HAH! HAH!  
  
Me: Shut, up. Anyway, I'm taking a small break for one day so I will update in two days! That ok?  
  
Phoenix: Well, you know what to do!  
  
Both: REVIEW PLEASE! 


	5. Hachi

Me: HAPPY 4th OF JULY!  
  
Phoenix: I don't get it.  
  
Me: Phoenix, this is the day we Americans signed the Declaration of Independence, giving us, well, independence!  
  
Phoenix: Oh, YAY! HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!  
  
Me: Review reviews please.  
  
Dash142: Thanks for sparing me but uh, you can't catch Phoenix since he's a ninja, Eagle will just fly far, far away using Lightning Strikes, and your clones will start fighting each other. Look. Clones are arguing amongst each other.  
  
Victory March: No problem if you were busy! Better late than never. And yes, after Blue Moon I will do Green Earth.  
  
KrOnIk–SpOoN: Um, well now that you explained your luck with guns, I think I'll just keep this gun as a relic. So sorry. And yeah, for Nell's surprise lover, I went through Hachi, (Ick) Olaf (ICKY!) and Eagle, when I decided that Hawke was the best choice.  
  
Naval Ace: Sorry, forgot you would be in Colin's interview as well. Very sorry. And no, I didn't know an AK-47 was a Russian gun. All I knew about it was that it was a gun, and it shot stuff. I'M ONLY 14 FOR PETE'S SAKE! And you do realize that your gun is in two pieces right? But you can take the gun back in a Blue Moon interview.  
  
Me: Well, let's start Hachi's interview!  
  
Phoenix: Oh joy, a perverted old salesman.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars  
  
Chapter 5: Hachi  
  
{The screen fades in to a stage overlooking the Orange Star capital with two couches that look new and shiny and a glass-topped coffee table with no smudges.}  
  
Announcer: Ladies and gentleman! Welcome to the show, ADVANCE WARS INTERVEIWS!  
  
{Clapping}  
  
Announcer: Now put your hands together for that ridiculous and stupid author,  
  
BANG!  
  
{A gun shot almost hits the announcer's head.}  
  
Announcer: Um, I mean, put your hands together for the fabulous and funny author, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!  
  
{Cheering and clapping. I walk out with two 12 gauge guns, one is still smoking}  
  
Announcer: HEY! That's against the rules! You can't have TWO guns!  
  
BANG! BANG!  
  
{I shatter the glass around the announcer's booth and almost hit his head and shoulder.}  
  
Me: What rules?  
  
Announcer: On second thought, you're right! What rules?  
  
Me: Thank you. Now, hello everyone! Welcome to Advance Wars Interviews!  
  
{Clapping}  
  
Me: Now put your hands together for the salesman we know, the cheapest of the cheap,  
  
Random Audience Member: COLIN IS MUCH BETTER! HACHI SUCKS!  
  
Me: SHUT UP!  
  
BANG!  
  
{The shot grazes the guy's hair. He sits down immediately.}  
  
Me: Now, AS I WAS SAYING! Put your hands together for HACHI!  
  
{Lotsa clapping. Hachi comes out waving to everyone. He has a flyer in his hand and I know what he's up to.}  
  
Hachi: Good evening everyone! Come,  
  
CLICK!  
  
{I cock the gun and put it at Hachi's throat.}  
  
Me: Don't, even, THINK, about it.  
  
Hachi: On second thought, I'll advertise later.  
  
Me: Good. Let's sit down.  
  
{We both sit down.}  
  
Me: By the way Hachi, thanks for the furniture. It really helps.  
  
Hachi: Oh no problem! See folks? This is why you should,  
  
Me: AHEM!  
  
Hachi: You know what? Let's get started on the interview.  
  
Me: You took the words right out of my mouth. Now, first question, how did you get your skills?  
  
Hachi: Well, when I was still under Sensei's teachings, I always went out and bought the best kinds of clothing and weapons at cheap prices. Sensei was always wondering why I kept beating Kanbei at sword fighting with expensive stuff. He then found out, and decided that my skills at getting the best with cheap prices would be useful for a CO. So that's how I got my skills.  
  
{Silence, mostly because the audience understood only half of what Hachi said. Kanbei stands up.}  
  
Kanbei: THAT IS NOT TRUE HACHI! Kanbei and you only had draws. You never won against the great Kanbei!  
  
BANG!  
  
{I graze Kanbei's arm.}  
  
Me: I like you Kanbei, and I don't want to kill you. I do however want you to SHUT UP!  
  
{Kanbei is speechless at my outburst, and decides sitting down is the best way to go.}  
  
Me: Now second question, why did you join Orange Star and not Yellow Comet.  
  
Hachi: Well, I noticed Orange Star had better prices that Yellow Comet, better units, and I wanted to get away from Kanbei's whining.  
  
{Audience laughs hysterically. Kanbei is turning red, not only from anger, but from embarrassment.}  
  
Kanbei: What are you talking about? The, the Kanbei never whines! Hachi is a liar, Kanbei, never whines.  
  
{Kanbei sinks into his seat redder than a tomato. I calm the audience down.}  
  
Me: Everyone! Calm down! SHUT UP OR I WILL SHOOT!  
  
{Silence}  
  
Me: Now, last question, when do you plan on returning to the battlefield?  
  
Hachi: Why, when the next war starts! And Hachi will always save the day! Hachi is the best!  
  
{All COs stand up, Sturm is outraged.}  
  
Sturm: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I AM THE GREATEST!  
  
Olaf: No! I am the greatest!  
  
Eagle: Eagle soars above you all!  
  
Andy: SPIN THAT WHEEL! Um, I mean, I AM THE GREATEST!  
  
All: SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!  
  
{A fight is about to commence. I shoot above each CO's head.}  
  
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  
  
Me: SHUUUUUT UUUUUP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT! UP!  
  
{Everyone is frozen in fear, then hastily sit down. Hachi is a little disturbed. I'm panting.}  
  
Me: Never, again. I, will, not, allow, another, FIGHT, ESPECIALLY at the end of the first season! Thank you Hachi, it's been a pleasure interviewing you.  
  
Hachi: Um, my, pleasure. Heh heh, AAAAHHHH!  
  
{He runs away screaming.}  
  
Me: What's his problem? Well, thank you for watching the first season of ADVANCE WARS INTERVIWEWS! GOODNIGHT!  
  
{Hesitant clapping, then grows, and cheers commence. I back off the stage bowing.}  
  
Announcer: And so ends the first season. THANK GOD! Tomorrow we will interview in that cold country, BLUE MOON! Thanks for watching the show!  
  
{Cheering. Screen fades out.}  
  
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)  
  
Me: And so ends the first of five seasons.  
  
Phoenix: Hachi deserves to be beaten up. And yes, I do believe I hear him getting beaten up by the other COs.  
  
Hachi: AAAAAHHHH! MY KIDNEY! HELP!  
  
BAM! BAM! WHAM! WHAM! PUNCH! PUNCH! KICK! KICK!  
  
Me: Well, thanks for sticking around the first season! Tomorrow, Blue Moon waits. Until then,  
  
Both: REVIEW PLEASE! 


	6. Olaf

Me: And so starts the Blue Moon season.  
  
Phoenix: Joy to the world. Santa Claus, a cowboy, and a rich boy.  
  
Me: That's what makes it funnier. Now review the reviews.  
  
Dash142: Hmm, an elven ninja who began practice after he was born against you. $100 on Phoenix!  
  
Victory March: Will do! (Note to self, ask Olaf where snow comes from.) Thanks for the review!  
  
Bobomp: I will make fun of everyone, just to make it fair. However, I will tone down a little bit on Kanbei. Just a bit.  
  
DW-881: Extreme favorite list? I FEEL SO LOVED! Again, I will make fun of EVERY character.  
  
Naval Ace: Well, guns aren't my interest! Humor and writing is. NOW SHUT UP AND READ! Lol! Kidding.  
  
Me: Ok, let's start interviewing! And by the way Phoenix, I got a new job for you.  
  
Phoenix: What now? Hey, wait! I ain't doing that! STOP! HELP!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars, or Olaf thank God.  
  
Chapter 6: Olaf  
  
{Screen fades in to a stage overlooking the Blue Moon capital. There are two blue couches and a glass-topped coffee table.}  
  
Announcer (A.K.A. Phoenix): I refuse to do this job!  
  
{From behind the curtain}  
  
Me: You WILL do this job or I'll shoot you!  
  
Phoenix: I'm a ninja for Pete's sake. You can't hit me!  
  
BANG!  
  
{A bullet grazes Phoenix's arm.}  
  
Me: Too slow.  
  
Phoenix: FINE! Anyway, hello everyone! And welcome to the second season of ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Hesitant clapping because of the scene earlier.}  
  
Phoenix: Now put your hands together for my WHAT?! I ain't reading THIS!  
  
BANG!  
  
{A bullet grazes Phoenix's other arm. He won't learn will he?}  
  
Me: You WILL read what I tell you to read.  
  
Phoenix: Grr, put your hands together for my master and your master, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!  
  
{Again, hesitant clapping, but a few cheers from some fans. I walk out in a navy blue suit.}  
  
Me: Thank you! Welcome to our second season of ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Clapping and cheering}  
  
Me: Now, put your hands together for that fat dictator, the Santa Clause of Blue Moon,  
  
{I pause waiting for a witty comment or insult. Silence.}  
  
Me: Um, please welcome, OLAF!  
  
{VERY little clapping. A few cheers from die hard fans. Olaf comes out trying to stimulate the fans, but is failing miserably.}  
  
Olaf: Thank you everyone! Welcome to Blue Moon!  
  
{Nothing. Olaf is a little saddened, but being the stubborn fat boy he is, he tries to keep a straight face.}  
  
Me: Ok Olaf, sit down and let's get this over with.  
  
Olaf: With pleasure  
  
{We both sit down. A flatulent noise comes from Olaf's couch. The audience roars with laughter while Olaf goes red. I pull out the whoopee cushion.}  
  
Me: SHUT UP!  
  
BANG! BANG!  
  
{The audience quiets.}  
  
Me: All right, who put this on my couch?  
  
{From the announcer's booth, Phoenix's hand rises.}  
  
Me: I'll speak to you later. Now first question, how do you summon the snow?  
  
Olaf: Well, don't tell this to anyone, but I got this machine called the Super Snower 3000 from Lash, which can make it snow instantly and can also change the weather!  
  
{Silence. It's clear I don't believe him.}  
  
Me: You just open up a really big freezer that has a fan inside blowing out crushed ice don't you?  
  
Olaf: Yeah, pretty much.  
  
{Laughter. I glare at the audience and it's quiet immediately.}  
  
Me: Second question, what the?  
  
{Some random Russian dude A.K.A. Naval Ace comes walking through the doors of the building and walks onto the stage. Security doesn't do anything since I haven't summoned them yet.}  
  
Naval Ace: You have my gun. Give it now.  
  
{I calmly reach under the couch and pull out the gun. Naval Ace snatches it from me and walks to a random empty seat in the audience. He sits down in it and starts eyeing everyone. The audience moves at least two seats away from him.}  
  
Me: Ok, now second question, what did Sturm promise you for taking over Orange Star?  
  
Olaf: He promised me the land of Orange Star and half of the other countries he would conquer!  
  
{Silence.}  
  
Me: Did he promise you an ice cream cone?  
  
Olaf: How'd you know that?!  
  
{Audience starts roaring with laughter, I take out my gun and everyone quiets down.}  
  
Me: Final question, what is your job outside of being a commanding officer?  
  
Olaf: Why, ruling Blue Moon of course!  
  
{Once again, silence.}  
  
Me: You work at department stores playing Santa Clause.  
  
Olaf: WHAT THE?! HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?! YOU'RE SO MEAN!  
  
{Olaf runs off the stage as red as a strawberry with tears in his eyes. The audience roars with laughter and I make no move to stop them.}  
  
Me: Thanks for the information Sturm.  
  
Sturm: And thank you for giving me the chance to humiliate Olaf! This is the best day of my life!  
  
Me: Well, for once the show didn't end in chaos! YAY! Thanks for watching people!  
  
{Clapping, cheering, and laughing. I walk off.}  
  
Phoenix: HAH! HAH! HAH! If this is what I can see while I'm on the job I LIKE being the announcer! Thanks for watching ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS! HAH! HAH!  
  
{Screen fades out with the sounds of clapping, cheering, and laughing, lots and lots of laughing.}  
  
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)  
  
Me: Maybe I bashed Olaf a little too much, but no one really likes him anyway.  
  
{Phoenix is rolling on the floor laughing is ass off}  
  
Me: Um, well at least SOMEONE liked it. Hope I didn't bash Olaf too much and REVIEW PLEASE!  
  
Phoenix: REVIEW HA HA HA! PLEASE! HA HA HA! 


	7. Grit

Me: YAY! We get to do Grit next!  
  
Phoenix: You LIKE that sniper?  
  
Me: What? Grit's cool. But don't worry people, I'll be fair and bash him as well.  
  
Phoenix: Thank you. I'll review the reviews.  
  
Naval Ace: No hard feelings at all. (Shakes hands with you.) And don't worry; you'll be in Colin's interview. Just tell me how you want to act.  
  
KrOnIk–SpOoN: But, but that gun was Naval Ace's! I'm not handing out free guns! (Knows I wont change your mind.) DAMN IT! FINE! This interview you get a gun. Damn you Hachi.  
  
Dash142: Yay! I got full marks in humor! Maybe I can be a Monty Python later. (Walks off fantasizing.)  
  
Me: All right, let's do Grit.  
  
Phoenix: Whoopee, you get to interview a cowboy.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or Grit. I do have Grit's gun on my mantle however.  
  
Chapter 7: Grit  
  
{Screen fades in to a stage overlooking the Blue Moon capital. There are two blue couches and a glass-topped coffee table.}  
  
Phoenix: All right ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the funniest show ever, ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Clapping.}  
  
Phoenix: Now put your hands together for that author we know and love,  
  
KrOnIk–SpOoN: Who's ALSO handing out FREE GUNS to the audience.  
  
Phoenix: SHUT UP YOU! I'm a ninja! Anyway, before I was SO RUDELY INTERRUPTED! Put your hands together for MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!  
  
{Clapping and cheering. I walk out annoyed but trying to keep a straight face.}  
  
Me: Hello and welcome to ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
KrOnIk–SpOoN: Where the host hands out FREE GUNS to the audience!  
  
{I am now steaming. I hold out the Halo 2 Battle Rifle.}  
  
Me: You want this gun or not?!  
  
{KrOnIk–SpOoN sits down without a word.}  
  
Me: I'll give it to you later if you SHUT UP! Now anyway, put your hands together for the indirect master, the sharpshooter of Blue Moon,  
  
Olaf: Grit's a lazy good for nothing CO!  
  
Me: You wanna start something with me Olaf?!  
  
{I hold up my guns, Olaf decides to shut up.}  
  
Me: Anyway, please welcome GRIT!  
  
{Cheering and clapping. But Grit doesn't come out. If I were water I would be boiling.}  
  
Me: I SAID! Put your hands together for GRIT!  
  
{Cheering and clapping, though a little hesitant this time. Grit still doesn't appear. I am redder than a tomato.}  
  
Me: DAMN IT! GRIT! GET YOUR LAZY BUTT OUT HERE NOW!  
  
{Grit lazily staunters out, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. It was obvious he was napping.}  
  
Grit: Calm down son. I reckon that anger will kill ya someday.  
  
{I am visibly shaking but I try to calm down. With a forced calm voice.}  
  
Me: Grit, would you mind sitting down.  
  
Grit: Why sure son.  
  
{As he walks to the couch he ruffles my hair, which by the way I absolutely loathe. My face is frozen in a calm expression but my eyes look like they are on fire.}  
  
Me: Right, now first question, why do you like indirect units so much?  
  
Grit: Well, when I was in school I usually got beat up by those darn bullies. Now I was never much for hand-to-hand fighting, so I decided I would hide in a bush, wait for them bullies to walk by, then pelt them with rocks! Soon, I was never bullied again, and the kids called me the sniper. When I joined the army, I noticed their indirect units and well, I love them.  
  
{Grit fans are crying and clapping. Max fans are yawning.}  
  
Me: Thank you Grit, now second question. Why did you start smoking?  
  
Grit: Well as you know, war can be very stressful, even to me.  
  
{Everyone gasps. I'm a little shocked myself.}  
  
Grit: I tried everything to calm myself down, but nothing worked. Then, I saw these little cancer sticks that did the job. Course, I know these things are bad for me, so now when I'm a little stressed, I don't even need to light the thing.  
  
{Everyone is silent.}  
  
Me: Wow, well we learn something new everyday. Now final question,  
  
KrOnIk–SpOoN: YO! What about my gun?!  
  
Me: FINE! Take the goddamn gun! Just don't shoot anyone until you're outside kay?! Lord, the things I go through.  
  
{I toss the gun at KrOnIk–SpOoN. He catches it with ease and hugs it like it was a long lost friend. He starts eying anyone and everyone who looks at his gun.}  
  
Me: Right, now final question, why are you so lazy all the time? Grit?  
  
{Grit has fallen asleep, again. I am furious.}  
  
Me: GRIT! WAKE UP!  
  
Grit: Zzz, shut up pa, I don't give a rip about them chickens drownin. Zzz  
  
Me: DAMMIT GRIT! DON'T TRY MY PATIENCE!  
  
Grit: Zzz, I told ya, it don't mean a hen's rip to me. Zzz.  
  
Me: YOU LAZY HICK! I'LL SHOW YOU!  
  
{I take out my guns and cock them.}  
  
Grit: Zzz, stupid chickens, I'll show them. Zzz.  
  
{Grit takes out one of his famous revolvers and shoots the two guns out of my hands.}  
  
BANG! BANG!  
  
Grit: Better, stupid chickens. Zzz.  
  
Me: What? What the? He shot my guns, and he was ASLEEP! That's not possible. I need Advil.  
  
{I walk off holding my head. The audience is confused, but starts leaving.}  
  
Phoenix: Um, I guess that's it. Thank you for watching ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Even this doesn't wake Grit up. The audience hesitantly claps as they leave, and an hour later Grit opens his eyes and looks around.}  
  
Grit: So what'd I miss?  
  
{Screen fades out.}  
  
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by FanFicton.Net, where YOU make the stories.)  
  
Me: Lousy hick, he gave me a headache. And now I have to buy MORE guns!  
  
Phoenix: Well, look on the bright side, at least the stage didn't erupt in chaos!  
  
Me: True, but anyway.  
  
Both: REVIEW PLEASE! 


	8. Colin

Me: YAY! Last part of Blue Moon! Oh, and I just bought two revolvers just in case.  
  
Phoenix: Green Earth is next. THAT will be fun.  
  
Me: Sure will. Now review reviews.  
  
Dash142: Of course you'll be back. And Phoenix is ready for you. Phoenix: BRING IT ON!  
  
Naval Ace: Sure! I'll put you with your beautiful AK-47 in Drake's interview. UPDATE YOUR STORY!  
  
Victory March: You're not stupid! You're just lazy. Just like me! LOL!  
  
KrOnIk-SpOoN: Thanks for the cash! And sorry I yelled at you, I was just under a lot of pressure. See you in the interview!  
  
CO Shade: What's a stupid muse going to do to me? (Shade walks forward with a glare.) Wait! Stop! Don't come near me! AAAAHHH! (I get beaten to a pulp.) Ok, I won't insult you anymore. Owie.  
  
Me: All right! Let's end the Blue Moon season with Colin!  
  
Phoenix: Joy, we get to be with rich boy.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Advance Wars or Colin. But I wish I had his money.  
  
Chapter 8: Colin  
  
{Scene fades in to a stage overlooking the Blue Moon capital. There are two navy blue couches and a glass-topped coffee table.}  
  
Phoenix: HELLO! Welcome to ADVANCE WARS INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Clapping.}  
  
Phoenix: Now put your hands together for Mr. Angry, MASTER OF THE PHOENIX!  
  
{I walk out in my navy blue suit disgruntled. Clapping and cheering,}  
  
Me: Shut up you.  
  
Phoenix: Aww, are you getting angry again? Here, have some Advil.  
  
BANG!  
  
{I shoot the pill container out of Phoenix's hand.}  
  
Me: I don't take drugs. Anyway, welcome to the last part of the Blue Moon season in ADVANCE WAR INTERVIEWS!  
  
{Clapping and cheering.}  
  
Me: Now put your hands together for the rich boy of Blue Moon, the cheapest of the cheap,  
  
Hachi: HEY! WAITAMINUTE! That's MY opening line.  
  
BANG!  
  
{A bullet grazes Hachi's bandana.}  
  
Me: I say what I want. NOW SHUT UP!  
  
{Hachi sits down while trying to put out a small fire on his bandana.}  
  
Me: Anyway, put your hands together for, COLIN!  
  
{Clapping and cheering. Colin sticks his head out, and promptly pulls it back in.}  
  
Naval Ace: COME ON RICH BOY! SHOW US YOU'RE A MAN!  
  
KrOnIk-SpOoN: Yeah! Whatever he said!  
  
{I groan and hold my head.}  
  
Me: Phoenix!  
  
Phoenix: You called?  
  
Me: Get Colin on the couch now.  
  
Phoenix: Heh, with pleasure.  
  
{Phoenix runs backstage. He comes out holding Colin under his arm like a board of wood, which Colin was apparently trying to be.}  
  
Me: Thanks, Colin? Wake up!  
  
{Colin partially snaps out of it.}  
  
Colin: CO COLIN! ARMY BLUE MOON! SERIAL NUMBER 1950S42!  
  
{Colin apparently thinks his being interrogated and does what all captured soldiers usually do.}  
  
Me: Colin! No, calm down! You're not being interrogated! Well, actually, he kind of is, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Just calm down Colin.  
  
{I don't get through to the little guy and he repeats the procedure. I slap my forehead in frustration, but then get an idea.}  
  
Me: Hey Colin! See the money?  
  
{I put a silver dollar next to him. He snaps out of his trance and is partially hypnotized by the coin.}  
  
Colin: Ooohh, shiny!  
  
Me: Ok, now that we calmed you down, I want to ask you a few questions.  
  
Colin: Sure. Shiny coin.  
  
Me: Right, now first question, how did you inherit all your money?  
  
{Since Colin is hypnotized, he answers truthfully.}  
  
Colin: I didn't inherit it. I stole most of it from Olaf's bank. I only inherited 1,000 gold.  
  
{Audience gasps. Olaf ponders.}  
  
Olaf: So THAT'S why I couldn't buy stuff when that advisor was training against me. COLIN! YOU'RE DEAD!  
  
{He half runs half waddles toward Colin, who doesn't notice a thing since he's still entranced by that coin.}  
  
Me: SECURITY!  
  
{Two buffed up security men run up to Olaf and block his path.}  
  
Security: Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut!  
  
{They try to pick Olaf up, but he's so heavy they barely lift him an inch off the ground. They then use their pitiful little brains to decide to literally DRAG Olaf away.}  
  
Security: Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut!  
  
Olaf: Hey! Where're you taking me? SOMEONE HELP! I'M BEING MUGGED!  
  
{Olaf is dragged out of the building.}  
  
Me: Ok, ignoring that last event, second question, why did you join the Blue Moon army?  
  
{Still in a daze, Colin replies.}  
  
Colin: I joined the army because I wanted to get more money so I would be the richest kid in the world.  
  
Me: I thought you joined because you looked up to Olaf and Grit.  
  
Colin: I lied, I acted like I was looking up to them so I could steal their money and become richer.  
  
{Everyone is shocked. Grit is frozen in place. Naval Ace stands up.}  
  
Naval Ace: YOU TRAITOR! YOU'RE A TRAITOR TO BLUE MOON! DIE!  
  
{Naval Ace starts shooting his AK-47. I jump and push Colin out of the way. A few bullets hit my arm.}  
  
Me: ARRRGH! My arm! It's bleeding. NAVAL ACE!  
  
{Naval Ace knows he made a mistake in shooting me, and cautiously hides behind a table.}  
  
Me: You, will, DIE!  
  
{I pull out my two revolvers despite my wounded arm and start shooting at the table like crazy. Naval Ace and I start to exchange a few shots.}  
  
BANG BANG! RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT! BANG BANG!  
  
KrOnIk-SpOoN: COOL! A GUN FIGHT! Time to put my rifle to work.  
  
{KrOnIk-SpOoN Pulls out his Halo 2 Battle Rifle, not remembering his curse with guns. Naval Ace and I look at KrOnIk-SpOoN in horror. Everyone except us three and Colin run out of the building.}  
  
Naval Ace and I: NO! DON'T SHOOT!  
  
BAM!  
  
{Too late, KrOnIk-SpOoN shoots the gun, causing a great, big explosion. Screen fades out. 5 minutes later, the screen fades back in to an annihilated stage with a few ambulances. KrOnIk-SpOoN is being pushed into one of them. The front of his body is black.}  
  
KrOnIk-SpOoN: That was SO COOL! I gotta do that again!  
  
{Naval Ace is also being wheeled into an ambulance, totally blacked but AK- 47 surprisingly unharmed.}  
  
Naval Ace: Ow, my neck hurts. But at least my AK-47 is all right! Who's the best gun ever? You are!  
  
{Colin is also being wheeled in, STILL dazed by the coin in front of him.}  
  
Colin: Soon, once I'm rich enough, I will bribe Black Hole to take over the world and have me as commander-in-chief. Ha. Ha.  
  
{And last but not least, I am being wheeled in, black all over, bleeding in the right arm, and revolvers without a scratch or a smudge.}  
  
Me: COUGH! That's all the time, COUGH, we have left folks. Tune in for, COUGH, Green Earth on, COUGH, Advance Wars Interviews.  
  
{The ambulances are filled and drive away, sirens blazing. Screen fades out.}  
  
(This picture was made by Seal Productions. It is also sponsored by , where YOU make the stories.)  
  
Me: Cough! And so ends the Blue Moon season.  
  
Phoenix: Well, at least you won't use that stage anymore.  
  
Me: Just, shut, up. Anyway, hope KrOnIk-SpOoN and Naval Ace liked the chapter! Naval Ace, no hard feelings about shooting me and me shooting you right? And KrOnIk-SpOoN, no hard feelings about blowing up the stage right?  
  
Phoenix: No matter what they say, it was still funny.  
  
Both: REVIEW PLEASE! 


End file.
